


Born To Die

by witnesstheaddiction



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5SOS - Freeform, BoyxBoy, Depression, Implied Relationship, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Suicide, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 19:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1523153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witnesstheaddiction/pseuds/witnesstheaddiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*trigger warning! read with caution lovelies <3 x*</p>
<p>Luke and Ashton are severely depressed and have had enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Born To Die

**Author's Note:**

> title cred goes to Lana Del Rey's "Born To Die" along with the lyrics at the very end ^-^  
> also if any of you wanna talk to me on the twitter...
> 
> https://twitter.com/utterlyashtonx 
> 
> there's the link, I'll love you forever if you dooo x
> 
> anywho, as always feedback is always appreciated, I worked really hard on this oneshot so I hope you enjoy it!

Ashton and Luke were certainly a very perfectly imperfect pair. They both were like two ticking time bombs, and no one(not even themselves) knew when they would explode once and for all.

You see, severe depression choked the two teens like a noose, crippling them from doing anything that could be labeled as productive. 

They had one another though, but sometimes it was not enough. Everybody in their damned town labeled them "the sick couple" because they usually got so high, or drunk together that they each forgot their own names as methods of self destruction. Many a time Luke and Ashton would find themselves standing on the edge of an abandon office sky scraper in the city, an hour from their homes. Their scuffed Vans barely on the edge, barley stopping them from tumbling to their deaths.   
As the two hovered above the city, hands intertwined, ready to end it all, something always stopped them. Whether that be a phone call from either of their parents, the cops spotting them up on the old building, or the couples best friends Michael and Calum, coming to their rescue. Mikey and Cal  _knew_  how suicidal they were obviously , so when Luke and Ashton disappeared unannounced, they sped away in a race against the clock to stop the blue and hazel eyed boys from taking their lives.

One dreary December Friday night though, it all shattered down, worse than it usually did. Luke and Ashton had been distancing themselves like crazy from Michael, Calum and their families. The two only spent time with one another,  _trying_  to have fun in the meantime, but it was just getting increasingly harder and harder to do that.

Eventually Luke and Ashton  _had enough._  And they began to plan. Plan how they were going to end the final chapter on the books of their lives. Saying it came together in a sickeningly beautiful way for the couple was a huge understatement.

Both Luke and Ashton's parents were going to be gone on holidays in about one weeks time. As for Mike and Cal, that was a very different story. But the lovers had an idea.

"You and Cal should go to the beach next weekend and camp out." Ashton brought up innocently one day at lunch with Michael.

The green eyed lad stared at him curiously, "Why do you say that, Ash?"

"I dunno, I mean Luke and I have been stressing you two out beyond belief and you deserve to get away." The drummer shrugged softly.

"Yeah, but we dont care doing it for you guys. As long as you and Luke are safe, we're happy."

Guilt slammed into Ashton's chest with the power of a train.  Fuck, he hated doing this to his friends. He hated how the lies tasted so, so bitter as they rolled off his tongue.

"Yes, but Calum and you should be able to have fun. I  _want_  you guys to have fun. If only for one weekend."

Michael stared at Ashton for a few heartbeats and the drummer could of sworn he had figured this whole situation out. "Yeah, okay. If you want it that bad, then I don't see why we can't. It'll be just one weekend."

Michael's words startled Ashton whom nearly spluttered. He didn't know, he truly believed Ashton and Luke wanted them to leave for innocent reasons. If only the colorful haired boy knew how wrong he was.  
*****  
As the weeks drew nearer to  ** _the day ,_** Luke and Ashton to a stranger eye seemed like the happy, carefree teenagers they should be.

"You guys are doing so well, ya know that?" Calum commented on one boring, dull thursday. Pride was laced within his words, causing Ashton and Luke to stare downward, shame written all over their faces.

"Yeah, he's right. I'm so proud of you guys. We should really hangout as a symbol of celebration or some shit, I dunno. All I  _do_  know is that it's been way too long since we've all been together. And I've hated it." Michael added, a sad smile gracing his lips.

While night fell later that day, the four gathered at Luke's flat with some junk food and films. As Luke passed by Ashton on his way to pop in some chick flick, the elder tugged the blond into his lap, wrapping his big arms around Luke's warm, slender body.

"Ashy," Luke giggled adorably attempting feebly to push himself away from Ashton. "I have to get this movie going, the two idiots will be coming with the snacks any minute now."

Ashton only pulled the guitarist closer, a smirk popping out his dimples that Luke lived for. "Says who? Make one of them do it, I need cuddles now." His smirk melted to a pout, causing Luke to swoon just a bit.

Luke caved and snuggled into the drummer's cozy embrace, pressing his face into Ashton's neck. They both craved these moments an unexplainable amount. These little things made the two feel  _alive_  and that was beautiful because they hadn't felt that feeling for two years.

Michael and Calum stumbled into the room soon after, letting out frustrated groans as they tried to balance all the stuff.

"You couldn't even do  _one thing_  and put the movie in for us?"

"Sorry?" Luke giggled out, not sounding nor looking one bit apologetic.

Michael huffed dramatically, snatching up the dvd and marched over to the tv to put it in. "I cant even with you two disgusting lovebirds right now."

Ashton glanced up from tickling Luke, said lad red faced and tears of laughter trickling down his adorably, slightly dimpled cheeks. "Excuse you? Deal with it or get the fuck out." The hazel eyed boy sassed, causing Luke to hurl back into laughter and even teasing an amused smile out of grumpy Michael.

The movie, whatever it was called, was stupid and boring. So naturally Luke and Ashton stole kisses the whole time, occasionally getting too carried away and forgetting their two best mates were in the same room. But whatever, they both were just in  _such_  a good mood for once.  And Calum and Michael ignored it, shoving down their witty comments because they just  _adored_  seeing the two this happy.

After the boys left, Ashton and Luke made love for the first time together. It was such a pretty thing, how one moment they were writhing and moaning out each others name in such a filthy, dirty way, and the next they were delicately exchanging hushed "I love you"s. They drank up this quintessential, flawless night because it was the last they would spend side by side in the physical world.   
*******  
The next day Luke and Ashton got ready to hangout with the boys one last time, and say goodbye to their parents.  They both had misty tears in their eyes, but they weren't out of sadness. No, they were happy tears. The pain was going to be gone, and they could love each other unconditionally without any boundries on the other side. Not only that, but all the stress they had been piling on Michael and Calum would also melt away. Their friends could finally live their own lives without worrying 24/7.

Luke was rather silent and to be honest, it spooked Ashton a little. "Are you okay, darling?" The curly haired lad asked gently, as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend who was staring into the depths of their mirror blankly.

Luke sank back into Ashton with a small sigh. "Yeah..just cant believe after sundown this all gonna end, ya know?"

Ashton bit his lip, locking his eyes with Luke in the mirror, "Are you regretting this?" He asked in a small, cautious voice, kinda afraid to hear the blondes answer.

"N-No, never Ashy. I want us to feel better. I want us to be able to love each other fully because we're happy, and no longer have these demons constantly choking us in their clutches. I want to be free. I want to be  _done_! " The taller boy whirled around in Ashton's arms, taking the drummers large hands within his own, desperation practically leaking from his every pore. "And if this is the only way out, then so be it. It will be worth it."

Luke's words had Ashton's eyes growing glassy with tears and whimpering out wetly, "I l-love you.." The curly haired boy's blue eyed angel then cupped his jaw, before conjoining their lips in a kiss filled with so much  _love, passion,_  and  _adoration_  that Ashton thought his heart was going to leap out of his chest and run off erratically.

The two kissed slowly for a bit before Ashton had to pull back to bury his head into Luke's neck and sob. His blond boyfriend said nothing, as there was nothing to say, only cradled Ashton delicately as though he would shatter into a million shards.

Ashton just loved Luke so damn  _much_  it hurt. It felt like his chest was being smashed with a sledge hammer, stomach being tickled by butterflies wings. It was the oddest jumble of emotions, and was smothering him. Ashton didnt mean to crack apart before his boyfriend, but it felt like the intensity of his feelings were being cranked way up.

After Ashton calmed down, he laughed bitterly at his pathetic actions, pulling away to wipe at his blood shot hazel eyes. "I'm so sorry,ugh. I'm so stupid, I just totally rui-"

"Stop, please. Don't say you're stupid, or sorry ever again. Especially for something like this, yeah? You can't control every emotion you have. I love you so, so fucking much baby." Luke interupted.

Ashton glanced up into his boyfriend's dazzling blue eyes, smiling sheepishly and replied, "I love you too, Lukey. Forever."

"Forever."   
******  
The day only grew more emotional for the two lovers. They hugged the absolute life out of Calum and Michael as their two best friends were just about to leave to drive South down to their favorite beach.

Michael and Calum simply assumed Luke and Ash were acting like this because it was the first time in a long time that the 4 had been separated, and were just going to miss them a whole lot. Finally the guitarist and bassist had to untangle themselves from Luke and Ashton, muttering something about having to check into their hotel by 6pm, while waving and blowing playful kisses to their best friends as they climbed into the vehicle. 

Watching Mike and Cal's car grow smaller and smaller in the distance caused reality to crash down on Luke and Ashton, causing them both to cry the teeniest bit. It was the last time that the four would see each other for a  _long_  time.

Saying goodbye to their parents wasn't any easier.

"Ashy, I'll just be gone on holiday for one week. There's no need to cry, sweetheart." Ashton's mother commented with an appalled tone as she watched her son break down. If only she knew it was the third time that day that he'd unraveled at the seams like this.

As for Luke's parents, they were extremely hesitant to leave their also weeping son. Luke practically had to shove the two out the door, assuring that he would be okay, that he was just worked up a little too much because he would miss them. If only they knew..

*******

The sun had faded away, cloaking the city in a dark blanket. A strong sense of peace had fallen over Luke's and Ashton's flat, as they sat in the bathroom together upon the chilly floor. They both had matching lazy grins stretched on their faces, a bottle of strong pills and booze sat between them.

"You ready?" Ashton's surprisingly confident voice broke through the still, silent air. Luke nodded and scrambled to his boyfriends side, worming into his strong arms. He just wanted to be close when this happened.

Ashton dragged the stuff closer, then pressed a lingering peck to the younger's forehead. Luke looked at the drummer adoringly, kissing his plump, rough, pink lips sweetly. Ashton nuzzled their noses together after they separated, before turning away and uncapping the pills. He dumped out roughly 15 into his own hand, doing the same to Luke.

"Where did you even manage to snag these? You don't take morphine?" The blond questioned as he studied the large amount of pills in his palm.

Ashton shrugged one shoulder, "Doesn't really matter. What's important is that I managed to even get them." He handed Luke his alcohol before opening his own bottle, and took a large, calming breath.

Luke looked at Ashton, whom gave the slightest nod, "Remember, I love you, forever and always. No regrets."

"I love you too, forever and always. No regrets." Luke's deep voice was practically a whisper.

And they did it. One pill after another, gulps of alcohol in between. The room began to violently spin and sway a bit, after their palms had emptied.

The two slumped onto one another, Luke's head resting on Ashton's, fingers and legs intertwined. Breathing had become extremely difficult for them. Their lungs rattled harshly, fighting to drink in air. Reality began to fade away, and it was like falling asleep, just a tad more painful. The once vivid colors of the room softened, and distorted until nothing was left. Just darkness.

**_"Choose your last words, this is the last time. Cause you and I, we were born to die."_ **


End file.
